Dealing With Facts of Life
by Fairy Dell
Summary: It's not easy dealing with the facts of life. A collection of modern AUs detailing how different characters from Fairy Tail deal with a certain time of month. Marked as complete, but still being added to.
1. Lucy and Natsu: Errands

**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail and it's characters belong to Hiro Mashima. I just play with them.**

* * *

"Hi you've reached Levy McGarden. Sorry I can't take your call right now, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

The recording was followed by a short beep. Lucy ended the call and dropped her phone beside her with a groan. No one was picking up. Not Cana, not Erza, not Bisca, not Levy, not Juvia, and not Lisanna.

Lucy flopped back on her bed. What was she going to do?

She jumped when her phone started ringing. She grabbed it, answering it without even looking at the name on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey Luce! Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, Natsu. Hi."

"You sound upset. Is something wrong?"

Lucy rolled her eyes. Of all the times for her best friend to be perceptive. "I'm stuck at home and I've been trying to find someone to go shopping for me, but no one's picking up. Have you seen any of the girls today?"

"Nah, I've been home all day. Do you want me to get you something?"

"No, no, I'll try Levy again."

"Don't bother. Old Iron Face took her hiking today. She probably won't have reception. Seriously, let me help you."

"I'll manage, don't worry," Lucy hedged.

"Luce, would you just tell me already?"

"It's kind of a girl thing, Natsu."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to tell you!"

"Luuuucccyyyyy," Natsu whined.

"No!"

"Please tell me."

"No! Will you stop asking?"

"Not until you tell me."

"I need tampons, okay!" Lucy didn't mean to shout but she was getting desperate.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Have you tried Mira?"

"She's working today. I've tried all the girls I can think of, except for Wendy." There was no way she was risking the wrath of Wendy's babysitter Carla, should the strict girl find out Lucy was talking to her young charge about periods.

"I can get them for you."

"Get who? Everyone's busy!"

"No, I can go buy you tampons."

"Really?"

"I mean, if you're stuck and you need 'em, I can run to the store for ya."

"Thank you." Lucy teared up at his words. Damn hormones.

"Anything for you, Luce. You're my best friend."

Lucy sniffled.

"Are you crying?"

"No!" she protested through tears. "I'll text you what kind to get. Bye!"

She ended the call and pulled up her messages

 **Lucy:** Just get me the store's brand, regular size. And thanks again for doing this.

 **Natsu:** No prob. I'll be over as soon as I can :)

Lucy grabbed her favorite blanket and headed for the couch in her living room. A nap sounded heavenly. She wrapped the blanket around her, curled up, and got comfortable.

She was almost asleep when her phone buzzed. She tried to ignore it and get to her nap, but it kept going off.

She sighed and grabbed it.

 **Natsu:** Lucy.

 **Natsu:** Luce there are so many things here. Boxes and packages and sizes and types.

 **Natsu:** I had no idea.

 **Natsu:** How big a box do you need?

 **Natsu:** There's one with 100.

 **Natsu:** Is that enough? Oh, there's some with even more!

 **Lucy:** Just get me a box of 20.

 **Natsu:** Don't you need more?

 **Natsu:** I mean, there's lots of blood.

 **Natsu:** For like, days.

 **Lucy:** I've been doing this for years, Natsu. I'm pretty sure I know what I need.

 **Natsu:** Oh right.

 **Natsu:** Wait, why are there special pain meds in this aisle?

 **Lucy:** Periods aren't fun, Natsu. Girls get bad cramps, bloating, nausea, and mood swings. Sometimes all at the same time.

 **Natsu:** Oh god.

 **Natsu:** Do you have any of that right now? I can bring you medicine!

 **Lucy:** No, I'm fine, just tired. Just bring me the tampons, ok?

 **Natsu:** There's a lady complaining about wanting chocolate.

 **Natsu:** Do you want chocolate? Or some other weird thing?

 **Lucy:** I'm not pregnant, Natsu, just bring me the tampons!

 **Lucy:** Look, I'm getting in the shower. Just throw the box in my bathroom when you get here.

 **Lucy:** You still have that key I gave you, right?

 **Natsu:** Yeah, be there soon.

Ten minutes later, Lucy was relaxing under the hot water. The bathroom door opened and there was a soft thump.

"It's just me, Luce."

"Ok, thanks!"

She took her time getting dressed and was surprised to see Natsu was still there when she finally left her bedroom.

"Hey Luce! I brought you some stuff."

"I told you I don't need anything," she grouched.

"I know, but I wanted to make you feel better. So I texted my brother, and he asked his girlfriend. Mavis called and gave me some tips." He started pulling items out of the large bag sitting on her coffee table. "I got the fluffiest blanket I could find, strawberry ice cream cuz it's your favorite, and two movies. One's a cheesy romance if you feel like watching something cute and the other's an action movie with tons of explosions is you wanna watch stuff blow up."

Lucy threw herself at her best friend, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Did I do ok?" he asked, hugging her and lightly rubbing her back.

"Yeah, Natsu. You did. Now let's curl up on the couch and watch people beat the crap out of each other."

* * *

 **So I've got a question for you. I might be persuaded to continue this story with other couples of Fairy Tail, but only if you want. Would you all be interested in seeing more of this?**

 **Special thanks to my beta star-eye for reading my mind and giving me great one liners.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	2. Levy and Gajeel: Be Discreet

**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is not mine. Not even a little bit.**

* * *

Most days, Levy loved her job.

After all, she got paid to come into the library every day and organize books. Sure, she occasionally had to deal with some pissed off patron, but for the most part, it was the perfect job.

"I don't want to be here," Levy whined to her best friend and coworker.

"I never thought I'd hear you say that," Lucy said with a frown. "What's wrong?"

Levy looked around furtively. Seeing no one, she rested her head on her arms on the counter and quietly groaned. "My period just started."

Lucy winced. "Oh. Sorry, Lev."

"You don't happen to have any pads with you?"

"Sorry, no."

Levy wiggled her fingers, head still buried in her arms. "Can you hand me my phone?" she asked, voice muffled. "I need to text Gajeel and have him bring me one."

"Now that's a conversation I'd like to see," Lucy said, handing Levy the requested phone. "I bet he gets all embarrassed and flustered when he reads your text."

"No, he's surprisingly chill about that sort of thing," Levy said, finally sitting up. She paused. "Actually, he'd be more likely to embarrass me than be embarrassed."

Levy quickly tapped out a message to her boyfriend. _Hey, can you bring me a pad?_

Within moments, she got a reply.

 _Need your knight to your rescue?_

 _I'm serious, Gajeel. Don't make a big deal out of this._

 _You sure? Cause I could totally do the whole shining armor bit like in all those books you like._

 _Don't you dare. If you embarrass me I won't speak to you or even look at you for a week. At least._

 _Sure thing, Shrimp. Be there soon._

Twenty minutes later, library patrons were startled as the doors were flung open. Levy rubbed her forehead as her boyfriend walked in, apparently oblivious to the stares he was getting. He strode up to the checkout desk confidently, leaning against it on one elbow.

"I brought ya lunch," Gajeel said quite loudly.

"Keep your voice down," Levy hissed, turning red as everyone in the area stared at the two. "This is a library."

Gajeel winked and handed her a sandwich in a plastic bag and a bottle of water. "Enjoy your lunch, Shorty."

With that he turned and walked out, leaving a confused Lucy and Levy standing behind the desk.

"I thought you wanted him to bring you a pad, not lunch. You already ate," Lucy said.

Levy's head dropped to the counter in front of her and she started banging it repeatedly. "Look closer," she said.

Lucy examined the sandwich, eyes growing wide as she realized it wasn't edible. Instead of cheese, turkey, or peanut butter, there was a pad stuck between the two slices of bread.

"Well, you did tell him to be discreet," Lucy said, rubbing Levy's shoulders. "You can't fault him for his creativity."

* * *

 **Just a quick little chapter. star-eye and I started a board on Pinterest with writing prompts and ideas. This came from that.**

 **I'm planning on continuing this story with lots of one-shots of the different couples/people of Fairy Tail dealing with periods. So stay tuned.**

 **Sorry it's short and that it's been a while, but I moved in the last few weeks and started a new job. So I can't promise how often I'll update.**

 **Thanks, as always, to star-eye for her input and editing skills.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	3. Mirajane: Awaken the Demon

**Fairy Tail is not mine. Neither are the characters.**

* * *

Mirajane Strauss was a study in contradictions.

At first glance, she appeared to be sweetness incarnate. Always serving drinks with a smile, always a kind word for everyone.

But those who knew her knew better.

They remembered her days as a wild child, causing havoc and destruction wherever she went. They remembered the girl who fought at the drop of a hat. They remembered the constant anger and violence.

They knew that lurking beneath the kind surface lay a sleeping demon. They lived in fear that the demon would awaken again.

Those that didn't know of the demon lived in blissful ignorance, enjoying Mira's smiles and soft words.

At least, most of the time.

It was a perfect spring day, but anyone could tell Mirajane wasn't her usual cheerful self. Her smile was forced and she wasn't as chatty. While most people would leave her be, her most ardent and persistent admirer had decided to come to Fairy Tail cafe.

"Hi Jason," she said in a stilted voice. "What can I get you today?"

"Aside from you on a plate?" he joked.

"Yes," she said through clenched teeth.

"How about your phone number?"

"I have to get back to work," she said shortly, turning to walk away.

"Geez, what's the matter with you today? Are you on your period or something?"

Mira froze, eyes closed. When she opened them, her friends at another table whimpered.

The demon had awakened.

Slowly, Mira turned back to the table. "Excuse me?"

Seeing her face, eerily calm except for her flashing eyes (did he see actual fire in them? He was pretty sure he did), he gulped. "Nothing," he said weakly.

Mira leaned close. "I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Would you like me to end yours in a similar fashion?"

Jason paled. "No ma'am," he stuttered.

She smiled, back to her old self. "Alright then. I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."

As soon as she disappeared, the entire cafe cleared out. Perhaps it would be best to give her some space.

* * *

 **Look who's back!**

 **I know it's been a while and I apologize. In the last 6 months, I've moved twice (across at least three states both times) and started two new jobs. But you don't want to hear about that.**

 **I've also been using a lot of my free time on a big multi-chap Fairy Tail fic (currently planned out at 35 chapters) and I really don't want to post it until it's done. But I'll try to be better with some of these one-shot collections.**

 **As with the others in this collection, this chapter was inspired by Pinterest.**

 **Love and hugs to my beta and real life BFF star-eye, who's also getting on my case to make progress with my long fic (I'm working on chapter 5 right now).**

 **I promise you'll see me soon!**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	4. Cana: The Prank

**I can't remember if I've said this before, but these are a series of unconnected, au drabbles.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, Monsters Inc., or any of their characters.**

* * *

Lucy walked into the kitchen as her phone vibrated for the fifth time in as many minutes. When she ignored it, it started ringing.

"Yes?" she drawled.

"What do you mean I can't come over tonight?" Natsu asked. She rolled her eyes at his decidedly pathetic tone, making Cana laugh as she filled a bowl with popcorn.

"I mean, you can't come over. I would have thought that was clear," Lucy said dryly.

"Come on, please?" he begged.

Lucy sighed, switching her phone to her other ear. "I told you, a bunch of the girls are here for a movie. Cana's declared it a girls' night."

"But that's not fair! I promise, you won't even know I'm there," he bargained.

"You just want free food."

The sound of his half-hearted protest was cut off as Cana grabbed the phone. "No boys allowed!" the brunette scolded before hanging up. "I'm confiscating your phone, Lucy. Otherwise you'll give in and let him come over."

"No I-" she paused. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Did we decide on a movie yet?" Cana grabbed a few bowls filled with various snacks.

Lucy picked up the rest. "We were thinking something Pixar. Any thoughts?"

"I haven't seen Monsters Inc. in a while," Cana said as they walked back into the living room.

"Oh, I love that movie!" Levy said from the corner of the couch she had claimed.

Juvia, Erza, Mirajane, and Lisanna voiced their agreement and the decision was made. The seven girls settled in, squished onto the couch, two chairs, and various pillows on the floor, and started the movie. Within minutes, they were sprawled over each other as they relaxed and reached for various snacks.

They enjoyed the movie as they usually did, with much discussion and laughter. Suddenly, Cana lunged across Juvia and Erza to grab the remote. The two girls steadied the snacks as Cana paused the movie, laughing hysterically. The other girls patiently waited for her to calm down and tell them what was so funny.

Cana pointed to the screen, where the monsters were going into lockdown after discovering a sock on the back of one of the workers. "Do you think," she gasped between laughs, "if we did that to one of the guys with a pad or a tampon they'd react like that?"

Silence reigned for a split second before the rest of the girls dissolved into laughter.

"They would totally over-react like that," Mira said, wiping tears from her eyes.

Cana sat up. "Let's do it."

"What, really?" Levy asked. "How?"

"Well," Lucy said thoughtfully, "have you ever noticed that whenever we're all at the cafe and we start talking about 'girly' stuff like shopping or makeup, the boys all end up on the other side of the room?"

"You're right," Erza said thoughtfully. "I find it very rude of them."

"What if we did it on purpose?" Lisanna said, a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Then, when one of them got up for some reason, we stick a pad to his back."

The girls exchanged glances, as if asking whether they were really going to do it. From the excited looks slowly taking over their faces, it seemed they would. The movie resumed, as did their fun, but all the girls were preoccupied with the prank.

Their opportunity came sooner than they expected, as their group of friends all made their way to the Fairy Tale Cafe, their usual hangout, the next day. They didn't even have to come up with a topic to chase off the boys, as they were all sitting together.

"No girls allowed," Natsu said when they approached.

"Seriously?" Cana asked.

"If you can do it, so can I," he retorted.

Cana rolled her eyes. "Fine. Next time we'll invite you to girls night. We'll do your nails, braid your hair, and talk about what boy you have a crush on."

Cana led the snickering girls to a table on the other side of the room as the boys teased Natsu and complained about him chasing away their friends.

"Does anyone have a pad?" Cana whispered.

The girls rummaged around in their bags and all nodded.

"Alright, here's the plan," Erza said. "We wait until one of the boys leaves the group. If we have an opening, someone will stick a pad to his back, without the others seeing." She glared at each girl. "We must not be seen, understood?"

The girls nodded determinedly, taking turns watching the boys so as not to be too obvious.

"Natsu is getting up," Levy whispered a few minutes later. "Oh wait, Gajeel's going with him."

After another false alarm, the perfect chance appeared. "Gray's heading toward the bathroom," Lisanna said.

As one, the girls turned toward Juvia, who turned red.

"You don't mean you want me to do it?" she whispered, horrified.

"It makes the most sense," Mira said. "You hug him whenever you can, so it's not suspicious if you do it now and he won't notice you putting the pad on his shirt. Just do it before he leaves the hallway and no one will know it was you!" She smiled slyly. "Besides, would you really rather one of us do it? We'd have to hug him."

"Give me the pad."

Juvia stood up and slowly made her way toward the back hallway. The girls tried their best not to laugh or seem suspicious, but it was getting harder.

Suddenly, a bright red Juvia sprinted back to their table and threw herself in her chair, burying her face in her arms.

"Did you do it?" Levy asked.

Juvia give the group a thumbs up, face still hidden.

The group of girls tensed in anticipation, trying to watch the boys without making them suspicious. Gray wandered out of the hallway, looking utterly confused. Luckily, he had to walk by most of the guys before he got to his seat.

"Gray," Laxus said slowly. "What's on your back?"

"What are you talking about?" Gray twisted in his seat, trying to look at his back.

"Is that a pad?" Jet asked in a loud, horrified voice.

Gajeel grabbed Gray by the shoulder and turned him around so they could all see. As one, the boys shuddered as they realized that it was indeed a pad. They stared at it in horrified fascination.

Gray started flailing in Gajeel's grip. "What are you all doing?" he asked in a higher than normal pitch. "Get it off!"

Bixlow, who had been studying the girls carefully, turned back. "No don't touch it!" he said in a loud whisper. "You don't know where it's been!" He turned and winked at the girls as the boys began to really freak out.

The girls were trying their hardest to keep their cool, but it was getting more difficult.

Laxus had lost interest, rolling his eyes and putting his headphones back in, though he kept watching with an expression of faint amusement. Gajeel was still holding onto a squirming Gray by his collar, though he was keeping him at an arm's length. Jet and Droy were trying to examine the pad without getting too close. Then Natsu whipped out his lighter.

"Hold him still, Gajeel," he said as he clicked it on. "I'll burn it off!"

"Like hell you will!" Gray practically screeched, struggling even harder to get away. "Let me go!"

The girls couldn't help it. They burst into laughter. Lucy and Levy leaned against each other, tears running down their faces. Mira was trying to encourage Lisanna to breathe, but not very effectively as she couldn't catch her breath either. Cana howled as she pounded a fist against the table. Even Erza and Juvia were laughing uncontrollably at the sight.

Somehow, Gray managed to wriggle out of his shirt, much to Juvia's delight. Gajeel yelped and dropped the shirt like it had burned him. The boys stared at the shirt and pad, unsure what to do next.

Eventually, Kinana took pity on them. "You have to keep your shirt on Gray," the waitress scolded. She deftly peeled the pad off and handed the garment back to him. When he backed away from it, she raised an eyebrow. "It's not contaminated. I'd think you all would be past the whole 'girls have cooties' thing by now."

"But what if it's been used?" Droy asked.

"You'd be able to tell. It would be covered in blood."

The girls didn't think it was possible to laugh any harder, but they did as they boys all turned green. They quickly excused themselves and hurried out, except for Laxus and Bixlow, who walked over to the girls' table.

"That was brilliant," Bixlow said with a chuckle. "Who came up with that?"

Cana raised her hand, still unable to speak.

Laxus lifted an eyebrow.

"We watched Monsters Inc. last night," Juvia explained, gazing distractedly at the door. "Do you think Gray knows it was me? What if he gets angry?"

"I'm pretty sure the only person he's gonna be angry at is Natsu," Laxus said.

"I can't believe he tried to burn it off!" Lucy wheezed.

"That was far more entertaining than I expected it to be," Erza admitted. The girls all agreed.

"You have got to invite me to the next girls' night," Bixlow said with a laugh.

"You sure?" Cana said. "We will paint your nails."

"As long as you make them a rainbow, I don't care."

"So," Cana asked. "What movie-inspired prank do we play next?"

* * *

 **Hey look! Two chapters in a row. I was actually working on a chapter of Selling Secrets, but this idea popped into my head and demanded I write it. And who am I to deny an idea as funny as this?**

 **This chapter, as these always are, was inspired by a pin on Pinterest. I'm always open to suggestions, though, so leave a comment if there's a certain person/couple/situation you'd like to see me do! I can't promise I'll do it, or do it justice, but I'll try my best.**

 **Extra love to my beta and BFF star-eye, who is dealing with a some unpleasant things right now but still manages to find the time to help make my stories better.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


	5. Erza: Warrior Down

**Fairy Tail and its characters do not belong to me.**

* * *

There was an unspoken rule with the boys in their friend group.

 _When Erza's on her period, stay away. Far away._

It wasn't because, as many might assume, that the already violent girl got even more aggressive. No, it was because she got, for lack of a better term, girly. She wanted to cuddle and talk about her feelings. Which was fine, but it was rather scary to see such a change in her personality. And woe befall anyone stupid enough comment on her personality change.

Unfortunately, the people that Erza's boyfriend hung out with didn't get that memo.

Jellal was enjoying an afternoon with his unusually affectionate girlfriend at the Fairy Tail cafe while his friends looked on, equal parts confused and horrified. Well, everyone but the girls, who simply murmured in sympathy.

Erik (well, he insisted on being called Cobra, but everyone else agreed that was as dumb as Natsu's "call me Salamander!" phase) eyed the couple warily. It was his first time at the cafe, having only recently joined Jellal's group of friends. He had heard stories about Erza, both from Jellal (who bragged about her skill as a fighter) and Ultear and Meredy (who insisted she was both the devil incarnate and an absolute angel).

He couldn't believe this was the same girl.

She was snuggled up next to Jellal on a couch, arms around her stomach and occasionally wincing in pain.

Erik ("No, we're not going to call you that stupid name" Ultear had said, rolling her eyes) studied her closely. He scoffed.

"This is the dangerous babe Jellal's been seeing? Yeah right. Looks more like a wimp to me."

"She's not normally like this," Meredy said.

"What, is she PMSing?" When Meredy didn't answer, he laughed. "She is! What kind of tough girl can't handle a little pain?"

"If you'd like to bleed nonstop and be in consistent pain for four days straight, I can arrange that," Meredy said in a low voice, an eerie smile on her face. "Some people say it's comparable to being kicked in the nuts. Constantly. But I'm sure a tough guy like you would be able to handle it."

Erik ("Come on guys, Cobra's an awesome nickname!") decided he'd better leave. And think very carefully about what he said regarding Jellal's girlfriend. If only to avoid a wrathful Meredy.

* * *

 **Just a little something until I have the next big project done. This was sparked by a conversation with star-eye (who also just posted something new!), who remains my bff and beta-reader extraordinaire.**

 **My next update will (hopefully) be soon.**

 **Catch ya later, lovelies!**

 **-FD**


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